Ever Since I Knew Myself – A Georgian Filmmaker’s Look at Childhood and Collectivism
Maka Gogaladze’s debut feature uses personal memory and classroom vignettes to explore the lasting impact of Georgia’s strict, collective‑focused education system.
Ever Since I Knew Myself is the first feature film by Georgian director Maka Gogaladze, and it uses her own childhood as a lens to examine how the country’s education system shapes young minds.
The opening sequence places Gogaladze on a storm‑tossed beach, where on‑screen text narrates a teenage act of defiance: she threw all of her poems into a trash bin to make her domineering mother feel guilty.
From there, the film shifts to a candid interview with that same mother. Gogaladze asks direct, sometimes blunt, questions about the rigid schooling she endured. The dialogue touches on piano lessons that ended in tears and demanding academic exams that continue to haunt the director into adulthood.
These personal moments are intercut with a series of observational vignettes filmed in various Georgian children’s classes. The scenes show a mix of subjects—history lessons sandwiched between ballet and dance, and even art classes where teachers allow little room for personal expression or debate. Across the board, the atmosphere is disciplined, and obedience is emphasized over dialogue.
While the transitions between Gogaladze’s memoir and the classroom footage can feel abrupt, they underscore a broader theme. The film suggests that Georgia’s history of repeated invasions may have fostered a national emphasis on collectivism, which in turn influences how children are taught to conform.
Personal rebellion: Discarding poems as a protest against maternal authority.
Maternal interview: Reveals the lingering impact of strict piano lessons and high‑pressure exams.
Classroom observation: Highlights a consistent focus on obedience across subjects, limiting individual creativity.
By juxtaposing intimate family dialogue with broader educational observations, Gogaladze creates a moving effort to bridge generational gaps while questioning whether a collective identity is eroding childlike wonder.
Ever Since I Knew Myself is scheduled to appear on True Story beginning 30 October, offering viewers a nuanced portrait of the scars left by a system that prizes conformity over individuality.
